craigcraigcraigcraigcraig asked: is there a spell that makes your posts funny again?
Yeah, but Snape has to teach it to me. And considering I don’t like his Dark Arts class, I don’t feel like learning it.
If you feel like adding something that can be just as funny as my first album, I do have a submission page.
Anonymous asked: What the fuck man?
I don’t know man. Why can’t you tell me why Prof Sprout refuses to grow my shrooms anymore? I have to grow them next to Moaning Myrtle’s u-bend.
Anonymous asked: tryna trip on some poly?
That’s why I haven’t posted anything recently. I’ve been trying to transform myself into other people so that I don’t have to live as myself, and so I could conduct sociological experiments. In addition to being a skilled wizard, I also dabble in philosophy.
Since I, as an obviously busy Hogwarts student, don’t always have time to put up posts, I figured my audience should have a crack at it. There are very few guidelines, but if something doesn’t strike me as funny, I may not approve it. DON’T HATE ME I’M JUST TRYING TO KEEP IT PURE, OR AT LEAST HALF-BLOOD. Muggles just creep me out, alright?
Anonymous asked: have you been to brakebills yet? they're all like 'oh, we're disaffected american magicians, we've got privilege, we've looked into the void' and i was all like 'dude, you're like season 3 of gossip girl, at best.' at least hogwarts is in ENGLAND, like where music comes from.
They’re like the Pitchfork of magic schools. Their acceptance letter has a goddamn werewolf on it: that animal hasn’t been relevant in wipster culture since Lupin arrived at Hogwarts. And they don’t even have Quidditch….or as Americans call it, Broomball.
Anonymous asked: are you a wizard
Wizard is too much of an all-encompassing term, but people will call me what they want to call me.
rat-wizard-deactivated20120612 asked: did you happen to catch draco's band's set over at the hog's head last night? fucking trying to catch in on that vampire weekend craze. sooooo last year.
Yeah I heard about it, but I honestly didn’t want to go. It seemed like there would be way too many scene kids there. You’re quite right about their sound though. And, I mean for Hagrid’s sake, THEY’RE CALLED MERLIN’S BEARD. WHAT THE FUCK?
Anonymous asked: How awesome is this site?
It’s starting to be the most awesome thing ever…I mean, other than playing a Wizard punk show while flying on broomsticks. We’re like that except completely different, because you can’t define how wonderful we are.
I suppose I should thank you for following though, so thanks!
Anonymous asked: what's my name
They call you girl
They call you Stacy
They call you her
They call you Jane
That’s not your name. It’s Nicolas Flannel.
Hipster Potter and the Philosophers Stoned Hipster Potter and the Chamber of Underground Music Hipster Potter and the Prisoner of Upper-Middle Class White America Hipster Potter and the Goblet of PBR Hipster Potter and the Order of the Flannel Hipster Potter and the Half-Snorted Line Hipster Potter and the You’ve Probably Never Heard of It Note: I didn’t create this. ALTHOUGH I WISH I DID. Whatever. Being a starving artist is cooler.
